Day Two

The Plate:

Q: Hi, is the item complete or are there any small shards missing, also do you have any instructions with it on how it works etc....
A: There are actually some shards missing, one is still lodged painfully in my fingertip, but this is one of those peices where it's actually all the better for being incomplete - you know, like how paintings become worth more when the painter's dead... Ah, the nice thing with this item is you can use it however you feel like. I personally would suggest it as an aid for people on a diet - instantly 50% fat free, by taking away the other half!

Q: when was the last mot?
A: Hmm, I think it's still in date from the purchase time, however, I wouldn't be able to tell you, as I file my paperwork in the bin. Best place for it.

Q: Does it come with any warrenty again breakages ????
A: You can pay a little extra for extra packaging materials, but as it says on the listing, once it's gone through the door, it's not our responsibilty (so don't drop it on the doorstep. Mind you, that might add to the aesthetic value - extra damage is very popular at the moment.) I can personally guarantee that it won't get much more broken than it already is, as I've stored it very safely down the back of the radiator. This comes with the bonus of adding decorative fluff and dead spiders.

Q: hello, im interested in both of your stylishly broken items!! is there a discount on combine postage? i really think they both will complement each other very well!!
A: Ayup, indeed there is. You can combine the two and pay three times the postage, or if you want, you can combine the two and just pay the one postage, OR - get this - you can come and collect them! If you really wanted to that is. We might even manage to sort you a cup of tea in an unfashionably un-broken mug. Not so sure it'd be tea-stain free though...

Q: wow! thats exactly what i was looking for. does it come with paperwork? and whats the mileage? cheers!
A: Superb, I'm glad we could help, he really does need a good, safe home. Milage is about 0.00000000001, the distance I dropped it. As to paperwork, it's all properly filed in the nearest dustbin, but we can sort you out an old copy of "The Times" if that will do?

The Glass:
Q: my first question is: do sell any glue with it? question 2: how much is your glue? qustion 3 is it child safe glue? question 4 do you want to trade for a broken mug?
A: 1) Unfortunately, it's not only the glass that is broke. We is too. 2) I can get you glue from shop, but I can't until I get any money. It's a nasty paradox. 3) Probably not - you know what kids are like for eating it and such. Perhaps you could lend them the plate to eat it from? Would be a double-playoff then, it'd glue together at the same time. 4) Ooh, you should sell it on eBay, Broken Brand is VERY fashionable at the moment. Or so my gay friend tells me, and we know they have great taste.

Q: Does the Water stain represent anything in particular ??
A: That's a very good question! It looks like a rainstorm caught, a freezeframe in a flash second, the cracks forming lightning bolts in the explosion of the bowl. Storm in a teacup - well, a wineglass this time.

Q: Does the crack run from top to bottom or bottom to top. Many Thanks
A: It's been very cleverly done, it's a nice neat shape with lots of squares from the top, carefully thought out so that it lines up just right to the two lightning bolt fractures. They compliment the glassware nicely, creating rainbow effects in the conchoidal "tear" of the structure. So to summarise - whichever you so choose! It's good like that.

How insane, how supremely superb. Thank you, and it's up and running for another 5 days if you want to have a look, or ask questions too. Or even bid, if you REALLY want to. But why, I'm not sure. Oh well!

Linkies to both here!

Plate!

Glass!