Day Three

More plate questions today:

Q: how exactly did you break this item? also what are you cooking for your tea to night? will you be eating on this plate?
A: 1) I dropped it. And the sodding thing bit me! 2) I'm not. I don't have any money to buy food to cook with. No, seriously, I'm properly broke. 3) No, for several reasons, first I have no food, secondly I can't cook, thirdly it's broken, and fourthly IT BIT ME!

Q: Hi I am really interested in your plate, however what I was really interested in was a set of 4, I have various plates with chips etc but this one is a classic. Do you have more and are they in the same condition? Thanks Mr Wedgewood.
A: Why thank you, we appreciate your kind comments Mr Wedgewood. Unfortunately, each peice is a one-off, unique design, hand-crafted, so there is only the one in this range. However, if you were prepared to pay for them, we could arrange for similar designs to be created, tailored to your order! Do consider this carefully, as we will not be creating more of this range in the near future. (Or my housemate will slaughter me, thus increasing the value of the original exponentially - no bad thing for the buyer, but very bad for me!)

Q: Thanks for the prompT reply, you have guessed my plan to get the full set straight away before they become split and therefore hard to complete at a later date. Would you have a BIN price and could you bare in mind you have a national treasure as both students and therefore this type of dare I say art will be rare in the future! I will guarentee it will stay in the country and so we can keep this piece(these pieces) of national social lifestyle heritage unlike some that have been lost in the past (the legendary "Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies" as depicted in the factual show Allo Allo). Many thanks again, Mr W.
A: We pride ourselves in good customer service, and yes, we appreciate these are somewhat unusual and hard to find objects, especially seeing as the 'canvasses' have been discontinued for some time, indeed for more than a year. To boot, it is impossible to find new blank canvasses, for we have been trying. However, I have had a quiet word with the owners (as I am just a distributer and artiste), and we have decided that £25 would be the best we can offer to such an exclusive customer. We've sorted a hefty discount, as it's a specialist bulk order, and are genuinely ready to start work on receipt of full payment of winning the auction. In fact, for a further £15, we can also add in the 'mirror' version of this original masterpiece. To clarify, these will be a set of four incredibly rare WHITE designs! Please, let us know as soon as possible if you are interested, and we shall reserve them for you. Thank you, the Penniless Creationists!

Q: I must say that's a tempting offer, however I require more information. Does the item come with a certificate of authenticity and picture of said act of artistic enlightenment. These will obliviously help in the future for resale. Also do you have a proof of ownership (till receipt) as I don't want any legal problems from third parties claiming ownership when the value of said item has doubled! Your offer of the white plates I must decline as mentioned previously I have a collection of chipped plates of my own which are by the famous artist known as ARGOS who's well known for quality mass produced fine china. Mr W. 04-Aug-07
A: I appear to have misheard the gallery owner, there are only two white plates available anyway. We can of course provide photographic evidence of our work, as mentioned on receipt, or, as this is a unique custom creation, you may even visit the studio and watch your works being commissioned, from selection to completion! I note your discerning taste, but I MUST emphasise that these are not mass-produced fine china, these are actually highly sought after, limited edition Habitat Dune Stoneware!

And yet more glass ones!

Q: As can be clearly seen in the photograph, there is a spectral presence contained in the glass. Will you be exorcising the item prior to dispatch, or is your real reason for sale to pass on the ghost, like that woman did in the walking stick? 04-
A: Ah, I'm psychically blind, so I didn't see that, well done! Students are so overworked, we don't have time to open our mind to Our Friends On The Other Side, you see. If you'd like the spectral presence, you're more than welcome to is as a free gift (presence, presents... see?) or I could sort out someone to sort it. I think my housemate is religious enough, he has holy socks....

Q: hi there i was wondering if this is weasel proof? im wanting to keep 16 rather large weasels in it. would this be suitable ?
A: It's certainly got slippery enough sides, and is completely inedible, so I should imagine it's suitable! 16 is quite a number, but if you squeezed them properly (I recommend a Morphy Richards Juicer) they'll be just right. Try serving with ice and a sprig of fresh mint.

And bids are up to 11p for the plate, and 34p for the glass!

Linkies to both here!

Plate!

Glass!