Tuesday, 7 August 2007

Day Five

This is crazy - both the plate and the glass have gone up to £5 each now, and there's still another day and a half left to go.

Wow, when I posted them up, I never expected anyone to bid - this is better than I could have imagined. We PCs will have to get together and think about this. (We have a new recruit over in Aus, welcome to you BNA!)

Linkies to both auctions here!

Plate!

Glass!

Sunday, 5 August 2007

Day Four

The Mr Wedgewood saga continues!

Q: I am now a bit concerned about the information you are giving. The 4 White plates have now turned into two and I still have concerns about the originality of the original plate on offer. Who is to say a student in another location has the same plate and has had the same artistic inspiration that you have recently gone through. For example you were quick to belittle my current masterpieces from the ARGOS collection. However I have official documentation, a Delivery note for the items signed by myself as damaged packet on arrival and the drivers name (Mr Clumsy) with dates and original purchase price of £5.99 (Special Offer end of line discount!). All of this information adds considerable history and therefore value to this product! If you could provide production run dates proof that no students in the country have access to this product then my interest may be regained. A Disappointed Mr W.
A: As mentioned, I was misinformed as to the amount we have in stock, and again, my apologies for this. However, the likelyhood of a Dune Stoneware plate being available for sale is very slim; by all means you may check with the Habitat as to the dates of end of production et al. I will hasten to point out that I did not belittle your ARGOSes, I was just enforcing that our products are of the very best stoneware, rather than china. As to documentation, as these items have been so long out of manufacture, it's very hard to obtain certification, and our unusual filing system is very secure, no-one can access our papers, not even ourselves. Even HortLee's Habitat . com (specialists in discontinueds) cannot source this line - we have been seeking to improve our own collection for some time, but as we are unable to, we are selling them on to those whom may have more luck than we, or whom already have discerning taste in BrokenWare. I would also like to add that these plates have the official DUNE stamp on the reverse side too! Again, do feel free to look around for similar examples, but none other are PennilessCreationists works! See PennilessCreationists.blogspot.com too.

Good heavens, both items have now gone up to £1.20!

Linkies to both here!

Plate!

Glass!

Saturday, 4 August 2007

Day Three

More plate questions today:

Q: how exactly did you break this item? also what are you cooking for your tea to night? will you be eating on this plate?
A: 1) I dropped it. And the sodding thing bit me! 2) I'm not. I don't have any money to buy food to cook with. No, seriously, I'm properly broke. 3) No, for several reasons, first I have no food, secondly I can't cook, thirdly it's broken, and fourthly IT BIT ME!

Q: Hi I am really interested in your plate, however what I was really interested in was a set of 4, I have various plates with chips etc but this one is a classic. Do you have more and are they in the same condition? Thanks Mr Wedgewood.
A: Why thank you, we appreciate your kind comments Mr Wedgewood. Unfortunately, each peice is a one-off, unique design, hand-crafted, so there is only the one in this range. However, if you were prepared to pay for them, we could arrange for similar designs to be created, tailored to your order! Do consider this carefully, as we will not be creating more of this range in the near future. (Or my housemate will slaughter me, thus increasing the value of the original exponentially - no bad thing for the buyer, but very bad for me!)

Q: Thanks for the prompT reply, you have guessed my plan to get the full set straight away before they become split and therefore hard to complete at a later date. Would you have a BIN price and could you bare in mind you have a national treasure as both students and therefore this type of dare I say art will be rare in the future! I will guarentee it will stay in the country and so we can keep this piece(these pieces) of national social lifestyle heritage unlike some that have been lost in the past (the legendary "Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies" as depicted in the factual show Allo Allo). Many thanks again, Mr W.
A: We pride ourselves in good customer service, and yes, we appreciate these are somewhat unusual and hard to find objects, especially seeing as the 'canvasses' have been discontinued for some time, indeed for more than a year. To boot, it is impossible to find new blank canvasses, for we have been trying. However, I have had a quiet word with the owners (as I am just a distributer and artiste), and we have decided that £25 would be the best we can offer to such an exclusive customer. We've sorted a hefty discount, as it's a specialist bulk order, and are genuinely ready to start work on receipt of full payment of winning the auction. In fact, for a further £15, we can also add in the 'mirror' version of this original masterpiece. To clarify, these will be a set of four incredibly rare WHITE designs! Please, let us know as soon as possible if you are interested, and we shall reserve them for you. Thank you, the Penniless Creationists!

Q: I must say that's a tempting offer, however I require more information. Does the item come with a certificate of authenticity and picture of said act of artistic enlightenment. These will obliviously help in the future for resale. Also do you have a proof of ownership (till receipt) as I don't want any legal problems from third parties claiming ownership when the value of said item has doubled! Your offer of the white plates I must decline as mentioned previously I have a collection of chipped plates of my own which are by the famous artist known as ARGOS who's well known for quality mass produced fine china. Mr W. 04-Aug-07
A: I appear to have misheard the gallery owner, there are only two white plates available anyway. We can of course provide photographic evidence of our work, as mentioned on receipt, or, as this is a unique custom creation, you may even visit the studio and watch your works being commissioned, from selection to completion! I note your discerning taste, but I MUST emphasise that these are not mass-produced fine china, these are actually highly sought after, limited edition Habitat Dune Stoneware!

And yet more glass ones!

Q: As can be clearly seen in the photograph, there is a spectral presence contained in the glass. Will you be exorcising the item prior to dispatch, or is your real reason for sale to pass on the ghost, like that woman did in the walking stick? 04-
A: Ah, I'm psychically blind, so I didn't see that, well done! Students are so overworked, we don't have time to open our mind to Our Friends On The Other Side, you see. If you'd like the spectral presence, you're more than welcome to is as a free gift (presence, presents... see?) or I could sort out someone to sort it. I think my housemate is religious enough, he has holy socks....

Q: hi there i was wondering if this is weasel proof? im wanting to keep 16 rather large weasels in it. would this be suitable ?
A: It's certainly got slippery enough sides, and is completely inedible, so I should imagine it's suitable! 16 is quite a number, but if you squeezed them properly (I recommend a Morphy Richards Juicer) they'll be just right. Try serving with ice and a sprig of fresh mint.

And bids are up to 11p for the plate, and 34p for the glass!

Linkies to both here!

Plate!

Glass!

Day Two

The Plate:

Q: Hi, is the item complete or are there any small shards missing, also do you have any instructions with it on how it works etc....
A: There are actually some shards missing, one is still lodged painfully in my fingertip, but this is one of those peices where it's actually all the better for being incomplete - you know, like how paintings become worth more when the painter's dead... Ah, the nice thing with this item is you can use it however you feel like. I personally would suggest it as an aid for people on a diet - instantly 50% fat free, by taking away the other half!

Q: when was the last mot?
A: Hmm, I think it's still in date from the purchase time, however, I wouldn't be able to tell you, as I file my paperwork in the bin. Best place for it.

Q: Does it come with any warrenty again breakages ????
A: You can pay a little extra for extra packaging materials, but as it says on the listing, once it's gone through the door, it's not our responsibilty (so don't drop it on the doorstep. Mind you, that might add to the aesthetic value - extra damage is very popular at the moment.) I can personally guarantee that it won't get much more broken than it already is, as I've stored it very safely down the back of the radiator. This comes with the bonus of adding decorative fluff and dead spiders.

Q: hello, im interested in both of your stylishly broken items!! is there a discount on combine postage? i really think they both will complement each other very well!!
A: Ayup, indeed there is. You can combine the two and pay three times the postage, or if you want, you can combine the two and just pay the one postage, OR - get this - you can come and collect them! If you really wanted to that is. We might even manage to sort you a cup of tea in an unfashionably un-broken mug. Not so sure it'd be tea-stain free though...

Q: wow! thats exactly what i was looking for. does it come with paperwork? and whats the mileage? cheers!
A: Superb, I'm glad we could help, he really does need a good, safe home. Milage is about 0.00000000001, the distance I dropped it. As to paperwork, it's all properly filed in the nearest dustbin, but we can sort you out an old copy of "The Times" if that will do?

The Glass:
Q: my first question is: do sell any glue with it? question 2: how much is your glue? qustion 3 is it child safe glue? question 4 do you want to trade for a broken mug?
A: 1) Unfortunately, it's not only the glass that is broke. We is too. 2) I can get you glue from shop, but I can't until I get any money. It's a nasty paradox. 3) Probably not - you know what kids are like for eating it and such. Perhaps you could lend them the plate to eat it from? Would be a double-playoff then, it'd glue together at the same time. 4) Ooh, you should sell it on eBay, Broken Brand is VERY fashionable at the moment. Or so my gay friend tells me, and we know they have great taste.

Q: Does the Water stain represent anything in particular ??
A: That's a very good question! It looks like a rainstorm caught, a freezeframe in a flash second, the cracks forming lightning bolts in the explosion of the bowl. Storm in a teacup - well, a wineglass this time.

Q: Does the crack run from top to bottom or bottom to top. Many Thanks
A: It's been very cleverly done, it's a nice neat shape with lots of squares from the top, carefully thought out so that it lines up just right to the two lightning bolt fractures. They compliment the glassware nicely, creating rainbow effects in the conchoidal "tear" of the structure. So to summarise - whichever you so choose! It's good like that.

How insane, how supremely superb. Thank you, and it's up and running for another 5 days if you want to have a look, or ask questions too. Or even bid, if you REALLY want to. But why, I'm not sure. Oh well!

Linkies to both here!

Plate!

Glass!

It got so big, I had to do a spin-off!

I'm back on eBay! Hurrah - here's the link: eBay 1 And here's what it says if you can't be bothered to look at the link. (Though please do, it would be nice to sell some stuff!)

Welcome to another of my eBay specials. For those that don't know me, I'm a poor young ex-student living with two equally (if not more so, but not likely) poor still-students.

Today we have for your veiwing pleasure, buying, or just plain amusement, is one perfectly good broken chocolate stoneware Habitat "Dune" plate. It's microwavable, and dish-washer proof. (We have neither, so I can't experiment to tell you how true this is.) It is new. Well, newly broken anyway. I dropped it this morning and split my finger on one edge. Do note: we accept no responsibility for said plate or any accidents with said plate once purchased. (We accept no responsibility at all if we can help it.)

It's been lovingly washed by me (firstly to remove last night's dinner, secondly to remove where I bled on it. Sorry about that.) and will be carefully packaged in your choice of media; we have: old newspaper, cardboard or bubble wrap. (But really, what's the point? It's already broken...) Tell you what, if the bidding gets above 3p, I'll even throw in the 2p it's measured up with - how's THAT for a bargain!? (See, we may be poor, but we've got hearts of gold. Sadly, the bank won't accept that to pay loans...)

And because I could, here's another one. eBay 2

Ah hello there, and welcome to one of my delightful eBay specials. For those unfamiliar with my work (or lack of), I'm a broke young ex-student living with two equally brassic students-still-at-Uni.

Today, specifically for your browsing and purchasing pleasure, we have one beautiful broken wine glass. It's supposed to be dish-washer-proof, but I wouldn't know; we don't have a dishwasher. (Or a sofa. Or anything really for that matter...)

It is new. Well, newly broken anyway. It hasn't been used (for obvious reasons) but has been lovingly washed, dropped and then left on the windowsill to develop these stunningly artistic waterstains; they must be seen to be believed! It also comes with a delicate powdering of dust, adding to the already superb aesthetic value, neatly highlighting the cracks with startling clarity! It no longer makes that humming sound when you run a damp finger around the top. Instead, it sort of rattles, and "OW!"s.

Do note: we accept no responsibility for this glass or any accidents with said glass once purchased. (We accept no responsibility for anything at all if we can help it.)

Because we're such a nice bunch, we even give you a choice of packaging materials, in which to transport this peice of student artwork. We've got: bubblewrap, old newspaper (or a new one if the bidding gets over 35p, we're good like that!) and/or cardboad. We may even be able to scrounge up some kitchen roll! (Why you'd want to, I'm not sure - it is already broken after all... But hey, the customer is always right!)

Even better, if the bidding goes to 3p or more, we can even give you the 2p for measuring purposes - how good is THAT!? (See, we're very poor, but we've can just about scrape a heart of gold between us. Sadly, the water company won't accept these, but oh well...)

Any questions, please feel free to ask. But don't expect a sensible answer all the time.